Sunday, May 31, 2009

Grandma's Magic Mantra!

As a young person about to fly the comforts of my cozy home nest to lead a professional and independent life on my own, I asked my wise grandmother about some magic mantra to live life from thereon. Instantly she came up with two magic words: ‘Responsibility’ and ‘Compassion’. But she did not go on to explain what those words meant. She only said, “You would discover the magic of the mantra as you go along in your life”.

Fair to say, that I did not understand the full import of the two magic words of my grandmother but took them to heart. I took the meaning of these magic words at face value and began leading my life accordingly. It meant that I developed a sort of ‘blind’ belief and kindness to people (surely overdone at times). It meant: come what may I must do something for people in need of some help whatever it might be. I was out to reach them and help them anyway without thinking of the consequences or the effects it would have on my personal life. At times I was exploited, hurt and also cheated. But I took solace from the fact that ‘Compassion’ was one of the magic words to live life, which may demand personal sacrifices. And I also led my professional life with great ‘responsibility’ – keeping my commitments, meeting impossible deadlines, working more than twelve hours a day and generally submitting to the whims and caprices of my bosses, clients, friends and colleagues -- etc.

35 years rolled by. I had by then become a so called modestly successful person in society. I had gained a name for myself in my field of work. People respected and looked up to for what I did. Friends and acquaintances came to me for help or advice. It now appeared that I was truly living life by the magic words.

But a few days back it clearly dawned on me that I got it all wrong! ‘Responsibility’ and ‘Compassion’ did not mean sticking your neck out only to be chopped several times. It did not mean doing seemingly ‘impossible’ things and tasks within increasingly ‘impossible’ deadlines. It did not mean a total sacrifice of your personal life to help out others and even lose money in the process. It did not mean that I would always listen to others and lead my life as they wanted it to be. And it did not mean that I must lead a life devoid of fun and creativity. I realized that the mantra was a code, which my grandmother left behind for me to crack through my own experiences and experiments with my life.

In a flash of inspiration I realized that ‘Responsibility’ meant – how do I respond to a given situation? This might only be done if I take care to observe and understand a problematic or chaotic situation in totality without any preconceived ideas from all perspectives and studying the connections between these before creating many choices to select from so as to appropriately respond to a given situation – only to make the situation better and more meaningful through careful execution of the choices we make.

On the other hand, ‘Compassion’ meant – how do I clearly understand the need of a person or a group with enough empathy, without being unnecessarily sympathetic or judging things at face value or blind belief or being emotionally attached to the problem, person or the group or to any perceived outcome.

So what happens when we put these two words together?

Responsibility + Compassion = Design Innovation = System Thinking + Design Thinking + Meaningful execution = LOVE

So, the import of the magic mantra was: understand a given situation in terms of the whole (system) and then come up with choices (design) to improve the performance of the whole and execute the choice with care – a holistic way of living life for the betterment of the world (in your own little ways) and also to lead a meaningful life full of love and ever expanding potential.

Thank you Grandma, after thirty five long years I have now realized your Mantra. Thank you for the enlightenment!